The Ascetic Life of the Head Chef
How to feed your family when not everyone is observing the fast in the same way.
In the Orthodox Church, the fasting guidelines are not a legalistic set of dietary rules but a prescription to guide us in our ascetic efforts. As such, this prescription may look different from person to person. (This is why it can be a good idea to speak with your parish priest about how to observe the fast. St John Chrysostom says fasting is medicine for the soul, and your spiritual father can provide you with a personalized prescription).
However, if you are feeding more than yourself in the home, and not everyone is following the fasts in the same way, this can make fasting as a family a bit tricky! Whether your family includes people who may not be observing the fast in full (i.e. pregnant or breastfeeding mother, young children, someone who is ill), or you are managing food allergies or intolerances, being the head chef can feel daunting this time of year!
Yet, fasting is supposed to simplify our eating, not make it more complicated.
Below I have outlined several tips to help simplify your family fasting menu. Since this is such a popular topic among Orthodox Christians, I have included some discussion questions at the end in case you would like to lead or take part in a brainstorming session with your church group.
A few tips to simplify your family fasting menu:
Focus on the foods you have in common.
If we are all eating differently, it can be easy to focus on where the diets diverge. Instead, focus on the foods you can all eat together. These might be:
Pantry staples: rice, quinoa, potatoes, pasta — can be cooked in a variety of ways and paired with different proteins, sauces, and vegetables.
Nuts, seeds, herbs — these are versatile additions; can add texture and flavor to a dish.
Fruit — fresh, canned (in water), or dried fruit can be an easy element to include in a snack or as part of a meal; a straightforward way to provide fiber, vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants for everyone.
Common allergen replacements — stock up on seed butters (if a nut allergy is present), plant-based milks (for a milk allergy or lactose intolerance), or gluten-free whole grains like brown rice, quinoa, and buckwheat (for a wheat allergy or gluten intolerance).
2. Serve adjustable/deconstructed meals.
Adjustable or deconstructed meals are meals that have multiple elements that you can serve separately. You are making one meal but each person can choose what is included on his or her individual plate. Examples of adjustable meals include:
Vegetable curry (can offer tofu and chicken separately as protein options)
Taco night (can offer ground meat and beans separately as protein options)
Bean and grain bowls (mixtures of a grain like quinoa, legumes like chickpeas, vegetables like cucumber and tomato, and a yummy sauce like tahini dressing; can add chicken or hard-boiled egg for extra protein as needed)
Burger/veggie burger night (cook up veggie burgers, salmon burgers, and/or meat burgers with the same fixing options for everyone)
Stir frys (rice, vegetables, and separate protein options like shrimp or chicken or tofu)
Skillet dinners (similar formula as the bean and grain bowls but served hot)
Other ideas?
3. Include fast-friendly meals routintely.
Just because you aren’t fasting doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a fast-friendly meal. There are plenty of ways to meet your nutritional needs through a balanced, plant-based diet. Routinely exposing your family to plant-based meals is also a way to help picky eaters grow less wary of fasting staples.
4. Make small sacrifices.
When someone is “exempt” from the fast, this is usually because of a concern over meeting nutritional needs. However, one can still make small sacrifices in the diet without compromising nutrition. For example:
Cook with oil instead of the more decadent butter.
Cook your animal proteins in a “boring” way (i.e. eggs without cheese, plain chicken or beef)
Skip the decadent dessert
Other ideas?
5. Focus on sharing the meals that matter most.
If it feels overwhelming to make a meal that encompasses everyone’s needs every time, start by prioritizing the meal or meals that you share as a family. For example, maybe lunch is “everyone on their own” but dinner is a shared mealtime experience.
6. Sometimes, the best option is to cook separate meals – and that’s OK, too.
If this is the case, focus on simple meals. Consider cooking in large batches and freezing for quick assembly.
7. No matter what’s on the plate, remember the spirit of the fast!
As we know, fasting is not all about the food. Fasting is about repentance, an exercise in changing our hearts. It’s about saying “no” to our own desires, and saying “yes” to God. Here are just a few ways to keep the spirit of the fast:
Provide or share a meal with a neighbor.
Begin and end meal with prayer.
Enjoy mindful portions.
Skip buying a snack or food item you enjoy and give that money saved to the poor or to the church.
Other ideas?
Ground Rules for Group Discussion:
1. Don’t yuck another person’s yum!
Eating is personal and our relationship to food is nuanced. Be respectful of one another’s food views.
2. Don’t judge another family’s fasting efforts.
St. Seraphim says “Sitting at meals do not look and do not judge how much anyone eats, but be attentive to yourself, nourishing your soul with prayer.”
3. Do treat everyone with respect and curiosity, including yourself.
Recognize that feeding a family and feeding yourself can be different levels of difficult for people. Aim for compassionate curiosity in your discussion.
4. Do help hold space for everyone to share his or her ideas.
One beautiful thing about fasting is that it is not a solo undertaking, but we fast in community. Let’s lift up one another in our fasting efforts.
Discussion Questions:
Why do Orthodox Christians fast?
Does fasting make feeding your family more complicated or less complicated? If it makes it more complicated, what are some ways you can simplify?
What are some meals that you already make that you can deconstruct (i.e. make “adjustable”?)
What ideas do you have for small sacrifices you can make in the kitchen?
What meal(s) are you eating together as a family? What can you do at these meals to foster a positive mealtime experience?
How can you observe the spirit of the fast as a family?
What tips have you learned from this discussion? What is one new thing you will try to simplify in feeding your family?
A recipe book I recommend: Fasting as a Family by Melissa Naasko
If you participate in a discussion on this topic, I’d LOVE to hear what you all came up with! Please never hesitate to share with me. You can leave a comment below, send me an email at krista@kristafedorchak.com or reach out on social media (@theorthodoxdietitian on instagram).
Kali dinami! (Good strength!)
